Dog Food

Blog January 29, 2010
Horrah! At last the blog drought is over! During this break my dad has come to visit and I went home for Christmas on the farm. I'm so thankful for that time, it was good to be back with my family and farm animals in my home and native land. Now that I'm back in TL here are some noteworthy events that have welcomed my return:

Sadly I found out that Guarda Kiik (my little mutt puppy) got sick and died while I was gone. My question as to where he was buried was met with an awkward silence and “Ahhh, Mariesa, Guarda Kiik wasn't buried....” Shocked, I considered the probable alternative, “So you mean he was... Wow.” My poor Guarda became our neighbour's dins.

Recently one of my Timorese coworkers has started dating a fellow Timorese guy. What's surprising is that they met on Facebook. I find this amazing. Less than 1 percent of the Timorese have access to the internet and I already know a couple who met online. Welcome new age dating!

About the third day I was back in TL I went out for a bike to the Jesus statue and back. As I was biking home I passed a pretty lady biking in the opposite direction. As we passed I knew that I recognized her but I couldn't put a name to the face. A couple days later I saw her while we were biking again and I realized that I was biking past Christie Sword, the First Lady! That's a little country for you.

Last weekend I was invited by a coworker to the 'barlaki' negotiations. The barlaki is the bride price and is negotiated between the groom's and bride's families at the bride's family's house before the wedding preparations start. It is a traditional event where the two families formally meet for the first time, negotiate how much the groom's family will have to pay the bride's family for the bride and figure out the wedding planning details. I felt so lucky to be apart of it all!

Because my coworker was part of the bride's family I went over to her house and visited with her large family as we waited for the groom's family to arrive. When they finally arrived (they were late because one of their cars had broken down) everyone gathered together and the groom's family presented the bride's family with gifts. Packs of beer, cigarettes, shoes, jewelery, and clothes were all place on the mat around which the male elders of both families were sitting. Surrounding the elders the rest of the families gathered and watch the ancient family heads greet each other. Once the bride's family had accepted the gifts, the barlaki negotiations commenced. The elders from the bride's family started by saying her price would be $1,500. The elders from the groom's family immediately balked and said that they would only pay $800 and a goat. The negotiations continued for a couple of hours, the elder men of each family chain smoking away, the elder women chewing beetle nut, the younger generation in the kitchen preparing for the post negotiation lunch, and the children running and playing everywhere.

I've learned that each barlaki is different, for instance in the Los Palos district the bride's family traditionally asks for 77 buffalo. An outrageous amount that the groom's family will be paying their entire life. In other districts it is reversed and the bride's family has to pay. TL is very tribal therefore even though it is such a small country geographically there are many cultural differences between districts. Sometimes the negotiations can go on for days and can be very complicated especially if the bride and groom are from different districts.

For the negotiation that I was witnessing the economics were fairly simple. The groom's family brought over gifts on the day of the barlaki negotiation, but then the bride's family hosted everyone for a post negotiation lunch. Similarly, the groom's family will have to pay the bride's family in money and livestock, but the bride's family will organize and host the wedding. Thus, in this case it was fairly straight forward. But what I found most amusing was that while the elders of each family where in heated debate (they finally agreed on $1,300 and a couple goats), the bride and groom were around the corner paying on their cell phones. It made me wonder if perhaps in the not-too-distant future barlaki negotiations will be done over Skype.

It has certainly been a readjustment returning to TL but I'm happy I'm back and I'm starting to warm up for the second half of adventures!

Much love,
mariesa